Someone calling himself Julian Thompson writes:
Subject line: Re: Payments question
comment: Do you process over $10K in credit card charges a month? We can beat your rate and save you money, guaranteed!
If we can't beat your rate, we'll pay you $500!
In addition, we have the best equipment on the market (This is the same equipment we provide to our corporate clients) and will provide you with a 100% risk free trial. Don't like the equipment? Return it for a full refund of all equipment fees.
Here are a few other things that set us apart from the competition:
- Integrated marketing and customer relationship management system
- 24/7 Customer support
- Gift card program that can only be redeemed in your store or on your site
We would like the opportunity to earn your business by saving you money and proving you with exceptional service. Please let me know when we can speak about your current rates and provide you with information on what our services can do for you.
Thanks!
Julian Thompson
datalogicx@gmail.comLos Angeles, CA, 91423
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Dear Julian,
Thank you for contacting me. I have had a continual stream of people who owe me money pay me what they owe me on time, with minimal service fees. Obviously this situation is intolerable, and I need to shake things up by betting my income stream on a person who won't even provide a company name or street address, or a company e-mail address.
Actually, I'm neck deep in other projects right now, but I know someone who could probably use your help. The Exiled Nigerian Prince is currently on a river tour of the southern Mississippi's most backwards communities, in the company of a would-be demagogue who keeps getting off the boat to inspire ignorant crowds to rage and anger with shouted lie after lie after lie. Lately the fellow seems to have been inciting violence among his followers - certainly many of them are swallowing his claim that the election is rigged against him, and ignoring the fact that many folks who have dropped support in recent days were scared off by his own admission that he molests women, including strangers, for fun.
But that's not why we're having this interaction. Since he's been on this tour, the Prince has had trouble getting folks to pay him for his services, and he would love to sign up with you company. In fact, he'll be glad to advance YOU $5000 just to get started with your program. Unfortunately, there are big swatches on the river where he can't interface to the internet consistently. However, you can get things lined up by going to his contact page [
http://exilednigerianprince.com ] and answering the required questions, including the routing code and bank account information of the account where you would like him to deposit his advance.
Here's hoping you achieve the financial success you so obviously deserve!