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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 2:49 pm 
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Posts: 1004
Zack Cyrus writes:

Hey Paul Darwin,
We’ve helped many large organizations such as Nike, Liberty Mutual, and Toyota increase efficiency leading to revenue growth by allowing them to spend less time preparing datasets and more time analyzing the data itself.

Once Rev imports your data from your on premise, cloud, or Excel source, it’ll predict ways to improve, cleanse and enhance your data. With Rev’s intuitive interface, it’ll allow you to fix inaccurate, incomplete, and duplicate data with a simple click of a button allowing you to make better business decisions with your data. Our direct connections into Tableau and Salesforce Wave allow you to seamlessly import your data into the visualization tool of your choice.

Analysts already using Rev are reducing time spent prepping data by more than 50%.

What day/time works best for us to set an exploratory call this week or early next week?

Kind Regards
Zack Cyrus zcyrus@informatica.com
Account Manager, Informatica Rev

--------Our reponse-----------------

Zack, We must have a mutual friend, John Roddy, of TekSouth, because he can't keep my last name straight any better than you can. I am amazed at your claimed ability to win Fortune 500 accounts without, apparently even bothering to track down the name of the decision-maker you are trying to influence, much less knowing absolutely nothing about the business or business models of the companies to whom you are promising remarkable results.

Obviously your organization has unique capabilities. Unfortunately, my businesses aren't really equipped to capitalize on that potential, since our databases have yet to outgrow Microsoft Access 1997. One fellow whose business has the potential to grow rapidly enough to benefit from your services is my friend the Exiled Nigerian Prince. ENP, as we call him, is looking to build a database of people trusting enough to let him store their personal and banking information in ENP's "cloud" for easy access whenever ENP wants to make some total stranger rich beyond their wildest dreams based only on the recipient's willingness to help ENP bypass some of the US' more troublesome tax laws. He also wants to set up a database to help him track down descendants he doesn't know he has yet, sort of a genealogy.com in reverse. That way, ENP can contact them and offer them an inheritance in return for their personal and banking information. I can assure you that this is totally legit, because I checked it out on the internet myself.

If you'd like to work on ENP's project, you should get started soon, as several other companies seem to be vying for his business. To make certain your proposals get the earliest possible consideration, please include your bank account number and routing code with your proposal, so ENP can deposit enough money to pay for the project's rollout.

By the way, ENP has to use direct deposit because the phone lines in the abandoned oil company tool shed where he is hiding out do not support fast enough data transmission to support any other kind of payment. We apologize for this inconvenience, but someone on the inside is apparently leaking information about ENP's location, and the treasury agents of ENP's old country are not the sort to give up easily.

In order to compensate for any inconvenience, ENP is considering starting with an initial deposit of $275,000.

You may send your proposal and banking information through the contact facility listed on the following page:

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2015 9:02 am 
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A reader calling himself "Michael Dennis" writes:

I trust you are doing splendidly.

My team has gone through your website and comprehend that it’s well built, but can be improved in several ways to get better sales and revenue from the site. If you would like me to send you a complete list of upgrades and improvements we could do to your site then kindly let me know so that I can send you the brief quotation for your website. After in-depth research about your website and analyzing the targeted market for your business to prevail, we also execute effective online marketing campaigns by targeting not only local markets but also provincial and international markets as well. However you will be getting all-in-one services when contacting us.

Search engine optimization is one of the best ways to create targeted traffic for your website. Without traffic, you don’t have anybody visiting your site to turn into buyers. It’s only search engine tricks that need to keep changing when the ranking algorithm changes. We will help you to increase your visibility in all the major search engines by improving keyword rankings and boosting your real time website traffic with lots of back links which are always done through White Hat techniques. Indeed you position your website properly to be found at the most critical points in the buying process or when people need your site.

Our aim is to provide you with complete web marketing solutions to help your website rank high on the search engines. Before moving on further, we will have a consultation phase where we will discuss what your website goals are and how we can accomplish them. In addition, we may ask you certain questions that may be concerning on the website structure and strategic foundation for your social media marketing.

Should you have any questions, please let us know. To improve the search engine visibility of your website, we look forward to hearing from you after you have had time to read our proposal.

Best Regards,
Michael Dennis
michaeldennis288@gmail.com

--------Our Response-----------------------------

Dear Mr. Dennis,

I appreciate the heartfelt concern you seem to feel for me and my web page. However, my confidence in your company and its offerings is somewhat reduced by the fact that you seem to have no web page or even company or domain name of your own. Although when I googled "'Michael Dennis' SEO" I came across some rather strange Pinterest sites. I feel so badly about my "kneejerk" paranoia, though, that I want to give you a chance to restore my confidence in you and your company. I am now borrowing a page from my friend the Exiled Nigerian Prince, with whom I have sadly lost touch. The last I heard, he had buried his carpet bags in a Costa Rican jungle and was hanging from the tree roots at the top of a cliff to hide from treasure hunters who had heard he was in the area. We are hoping that the treasure hunters give up the hunt while he still has strength to climb back up to the top of the cliff. In the meantime, the mist rising from the churning gorge a hundred feet below him is making the tree roots slippery. But that's more than you need to know.

Here's my solution to the lack of trust I experienced when I realized that your company, which promised to do wonderful things for my web page, prefers to operate anonymously, and apparently with fictitious names. Simply send me your bank account number and routing code, along with your real name, social security number, and date of birth. I promise that as soon as I reestablish communication with the ENP, I will have him direct-deposit $178,000 as a down payment on the services you are proposing to offer for my web page. Please use the contact information on the following page to send the information. - Paul

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 7:33 am 
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Bobby, from diydoggroominghelp.com writes:

Good morning hope you're well,

I would like to find out how to get a link added to this page: [page url deleted]. I have a site that will be raising money for the [charity name deleted] charity. All the money made from the site will be donated, but I need some help getting people to the site.

My site is: [site name deleted]. I can add your link to my links page if you like?

I know It's early to start thinking about Christmas but for me to get this site to the top of Google before December I will need to get some links.

Hope you don't mind me contacting you like this and if you would like to get involved more with this project you can call me on: 07850018984 or reply to this email.

Look forward to hearing from you soon.
Bobby
bobby@diydoggroominghelp.com

------------Our Reply---------------------

Bobby,

First of all, you should know that the page you requested for your unrelated link is seldom visited - it was written by a fellow who has since died, and not been updated much since 2003. We keep the archive as a favor to friends and followers of the original poster. If you had read the page before you asked to have your link posted there, you would have known that.

You should also know that I get requests for links from my sites all the time, often accompanied by a compelling story.
- sorry I'm getting a call on my cell phone I have to take . . .

Sorry, I'm back. What I started to say is that I checked out the first several compelling requests for a crosslink to an unrelated site and discovered that the vast majority were hoaxes, and the rest couldn't be verified one way or the other. Life's too short. My favorite hoax was from a "black-hat" SEO professional who set up a multipage web site for a nonexistent elementary school, then posed as a teacher asking webmasters to include a special link on their web site for the sake of "her" schoolchildren. The link was to an online storefront selling merchandise entirely unrelated to my page or the fake teacher's request. Other pages I've checked out after such requests have loaded viruses on my PC. Either way, I hope you understand why I long ago stopped trying to check out every claim like this. If you want to give money to your favorite charity, please do. I will do the same here, and I won't try to drag you into my schemes for good or for ill. - sorry another cell call . . . .

Back again. This call might represent good news for you. My friend the Exiled Nigerian Prince, who LOVES to make up reasons to send money to strangers has just escaped his pursuers in the jungles of Costa Rica, and has dug up one of the carpet-bags full of hundred-dollar bills that he has been dragging around the ever since he raided his country's treasury as he fled the country. Unfortunately, when he dug the bag up, there was a poisonous snake inside, and he is currently in a third-world hospital recovering from snake bite. However, he does have internet access, which means he can access the untold millions in his Cayman island accounts. He would be glad to make a huge contribution to the charity of your choice. Because he is on bed rest, though, his donation will have to come in the form of a direct deposit to your personal checking account. He is thinking $150,000. After he makes the deposit, you can hold back anything that you think is a fair "handling fee" and send the rest to the charity.

To get started, please send your bank account number and routing code, your social security number, and date of birth to the contact information on the following page.

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 12:30 pm 
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Someone claiming to be Susan Russell writes:

At SmartBusinessLoans, you make one minimum fixed payment each month, and if you want to save on interest, you can pay your loan off early without penalty. No Hidden charges or upfront costs.

Click Here [url deleted] to apply now and possibly get your funds the same day. Alternatively, you can reply to this email with your business loan needs.

Best regards,
Susan Russell Susan@smartbusinessloans.me
Commercial Credit Specialist
SmartBusinessLoans

------Our Response-----------

Susan,

Thank you for offering to loan me an undisclosed amount of money on undisclosed terms from an undisclosed company, linking to a web page that is ONLY a web page linking to other sites. You cannot imagine how this all boosts my confidence in your presumed offerings. A friend of mine has offered to introduce me to his friend Vinny if I ever need cash under such dubious circumstances.

However, I don't want you to go away empty-handed. Since you're apparently attempting to dabble in the financial services industry, why not go big-time and start laundering money for third-world expatriates who need to get money into the US quickly without necessarily drawing attention from US Tax authorities?

I only suggest that you might be open to this "opportunity" because you have already been charged with bilking your former employer out of three-quarter of a million dollars in excess payroll expenses, plus other wire fraud charges. ( http://www.justice.gov/archive/usao/pae ... llinfo.pdf )

Also, I presume that if you weren't the Susan Russell in the article that you would have given me enough information to identify you and some legitimate financial institution with which you have some connection. Of course, if your real name isn't Susan Russell, I can deal with that, too.

At any rate, you may be in a unique position to help my unnamed friend move an insane amount of cash through your personal account, while holding onto whatever handling fee you think is appropriate. Right now he is in a jungle hospital recovering from snake bite, but he can still access his Cayman Islands bank online. If you will simply enter your bank account number, routing code, social security number, and date of birth on the following contact page, we can get started funneling money through your account. Would $300,000 be too much to handle in the first deposit?

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm

Let me know, thanks!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 9:45 pm 
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Someone Claiming to be Kenneth Saldanha writes:

Hope you are doing well.
A quick analysis reveals your website having different technical glitches, where organic/natural traffic is very low.
This might seem irrelevant, but we think you are losing a major portion of traffic and revenue that your business deserves.
There are many companies who work only with standard SEO strategies; however we stand out by making directed efforts on research based competitor analysis.
Let's have a look at the issues related to your website:
Low online presence for competitive keywords or, phrases.
Don't forget to make sure that, your website is compatible with different types of mobile devices.
Technical errors that restrict your website from being indexed by search engines.
Lack of theme based quality back links.
A meager social presence is a reason to ponder too.
Your website is the face of your business. If you are not aware about Digital Marketing prospects, you will lose your hard-won supremacy.
So, it's high time to think about your online presence. Our technical experts are here to help you without any CONTRACT or SET UP FEE.
Interested? Revert back now. We will send you a clear analysis report (FREE) using our corporate e-mail ID.
Best Regards,
Kenneth Saldanha |DM Consultant
kenneth.saldanha52610@gmail.com
PH. No: +1 (530)-936-5916
Skype: web.solutiondm
1: If you are interested we will send more details on our “company profile”, “Price list”, “money back” etc. in our next mail.
P.S: - Once you reply us back, the next communication will be done from our corporate ID. Or you may ask us to “UNSUBSCRIBE”.

------------------------------------
Five minutes later, someone claiming to be Edward Hamilton wrote:
Hope you are doing well.
A quick analysis reveals your website having different technical glitches, where organic/natural traffic is very low.
This might seem irrelevant, but we think you are losing a major portion of traffic and revenue that your business deserves.
There are many companies who work only with standard SEO strategies; however we stand out by making directed efforts on research based competitor analysis.
Let's have a look at the issues related to your website bigindoortrains.com:
Low online presence for competitive keywords or, phrases.
Don't forget to make sure that, your website is compatible with different types of mobile devices.
Technical errors that restrict your website from being indexed by search engines.
Lack of theme based quality back links.
A meager social presence is a reason to ponder too.
Your website is the face of your business. If you are not aware about Digital Marketing prospects, you will lose your hard-won supremacy.
So, it's high time to think about your online presence. Our technical experts are here to help you without any CONTRACT or SET UP FEE.
Interested? Revert back now. We will send you a clear analysis report (FREE) using our corporate e-mail ID.
Best Regards,
Edward Hamilton |DM Consultant
edward.hamilton5429@gmail.com
PH. No: +1 (530)-936-5916
Skype: web.solutiondm
1: If you are interested we will send more details on our “company profile”, “Price list”, “money back” etc. in our next mail.
P.S: - Once you reply us back, the next communication will be done from our corporate ID. Or you may ask us to “UNSUBSCRIBE”.

-------------Our Reply---------------------------

Dear Edward Hamilton or Kenneth Saldanha or whoever you are. I am experiencing the strangest case of deja vu. Although you actually "evaluated" two entirely different web pages (urls deleted from the quote), you found EXACTLY THE SAME set of problems on both! I must REALLY be in a rut if this is true. Sorry, I have to break to take a cell call. Will finish "replying you back" later.

I'm back with good news, of a sort. My friend the Exiled Nigerian Prince (ENP for short) has recovered from his snakebite and managed to dig up all the carpet bags filled with hundred dollar bills that he had to hide from treasure hunters and his own former treasury agents - you'd be surprised how angry folks like that get when you pilfer the nation's treasury on the way out the door. The bad news is that while the carpetbags were buried, a plague of tropical centipedes got into them and drilled holes through many of the bill stacks. They also laid eggs, so there are now thousands of the tiny things chewing away at the edges of the bills. Frankly, the ENP needs to get this money into a bank somewhere while it is still money.

You don't give your location, which tells me that you work internationally. If either of you can get to Costa Rica within the next two days, the ENP would gladly turn the cash over to you for you to deposit in your accounts as a down payment on any web help you might give him in the future. Right now we estimate it's in the $4,000,000 range, but that amount is going down by the minute. I will never read the book Hungry, Hungry Caterpillar the same way again.

We also understand that there may be travel expenses involved. To help you with those, the ENP would like to direct-deposit $100,000 into your bank account. Whichever of you sends your account number and routing code FIRST will be the one to receive this advance. Please enter that information on the ENP contact page here:

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm

The ENP says he is looking forward to doing business with you.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 11:32 am 
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Someone calling himself Marygrace Guillermo-Soriano writes:

From: Guillermo-Soriano Mary (RC9) Luton & Dunstable Hospital FT
Sent: 09 October 2015 15:24
Subject: Urgent Important Update‏
Dear User,
We have finished an important update to our Employee email server.
Please re-configure your account clicking on the following link: Click Here
Failure to do so, your Account would be temporarily un-accessible and suspended from receiving and sending messages
Your mailbox is almost full.
Please take steps to reduce your mailbox size at once so that you can continue to send and receive emails.
Please CLICK HERE [URL Removed] to reduce your mailbox size and increase the size to 3500MB.

OWA Employee Email Address:
Server Uid : stud4443977609167
Encrypted method : ZTfQAfFGhhFnkiZjznwMCCUtBYApaQqBDAHLMM
****************************************************************
Help Desk communication system,
©Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved

-------Our Response---------------------
Dear Marygrace Guillermo-Soriano

First of all, allow me to express my sympathy for having a very long, strange name that probably stands out - to put it nicely - in the UK's National Healthcare System.

Secondly, please allow me to point out that I am NOT an employee of the UK's National HealthcareSystem or the Luton & Dunstable Hospital.

Nor is my name "User." If you know enough about me to know that a mailbox in my name in a British hospital is nearly full, you probably should know my name. Frankly, your e-mail is the sort that my spamcatcher usually catches.

But I don't want your attempt to contact me to be in vain. The fact that your attempt to get me to click on an unknown link is so transparent tells me that you are desperate. I can help.

As I type this, an old friend of mine, the Exiled Nigerian Prince, is driving an old station wagon laden with cash north through Central America. Whenever he passes a bank that accepts wire transfers, he stops, opens an account, and puts in $100,000 or so, just enough to blend in with the average local drug merchants, not enough to draw police attention. At this point, he has left a string of banks behind him, along with a bunch of money he'll never see again unless he wires it somewhere.

You seem like a nice, trustworthy person. Maybe you can help the ENP, as we call him, get some of his money into a British bank, which he considers more trustworthy. If you will send your bank account # and routing code to the contact below, he will be glad to use that opportunity to transfer the funds of one of his Central American bank accounts to you directly.

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm

As I said, these deposits tend to be in the $100,000 range. I'll let you figure out what that is in pounds sterling. Once you've received the deposit, please contact us again and tell us how large a percentage you think you should receive for your services rendered.

If all goes well, we may try this again. The ENP has other accounts with much more money that he would like to move, so establishing a partnership would be to your benefit.

Looking forward to doing business with you!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 2:00 pm 
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[Name Withheld] writes:

Is this the right place to e-mail for free Christmas money? Our family will not have Christmas unless you send me $1000, no questions asked. [Long list of hardships, chronic illnesses, job losses, relatives with gout, needed car repairs, needed home repairs, needed makeovers, sick pets, etc. deleted.]

If you don't take my word for it and write me a check right now, you are not a Christian.

------Our Response--------------

Dear [Name Withheld],

The first dozen or so of these requests, I checked into and discovered that each one I could verify at all was a scam. Apparently some jokester has listed my web pages on some public site as places anyone can write with a sob story and get money.

Though I felt guilty at first for turning down every request I get this way, investigating these requests was taking time and resources away from people who I know need help right here at home. If you actually do need help, please consider contacting the organizations who are right in your town or the national organizations which have branches in nearly every American city. For our part, we have been supporting the national organizations, so we don't feel bad referring you to them.

- Everybody, no matter what your background, can contact your chapter of the Salvation Army.
- If your kids are in danger of going "toyless" this year, contact the regional Marines' "Toys for Tots."
- If your children have a parent in prison, contact the closest "Angel Tree" group.

On the other if you wrote me just because someone told you I was easy to scam, I can't help you. However, I have a friend who can. The Exiled Nigerian Prince, who, as you know, absconded with his country's treasury when he was deposed several years ago, is looking for Americans who can help him funnel money into the United States. Right now he is being held up at a check point between Costa Rica and Nicaragua. He had the sense to bury his carpetbags full of money where he could come back and get them on foot before he crossed the border. But he didn't realize that the used station wagon he bought in a Costa Rican village had been used to smuggle every illegal drug known to mankind, and the drug dogs are the checkpoint are going crazy.

That said, the ENP, as we call him, is a most resourceful man, and I have every confidence that he will talk or bribe his way out of this situation. When he does, and when he reaches the next town with Internet, he'll be able to transfer money from his bank right into yours. All he needs is your bank account number and routing code, although things will go faster if he also has your social security number and date of birth. As soon as you send this information through the following contact page, we'll get you in line for a huge cash deposit.

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm

Due to certain travel constraints, the average deposit is about $100,000. Once you receive the money, please make contact again and let us know how much you think you should "hold onto" as your fee for facilitating this transaction. If all goes well, the ENP may wish to continue the partnership with subsequent transactions.

Looking forward to a new partnership!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 3:18 pm 
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Someone writes:

Hello,
I am Jill [not the name given in the e-mail] with HIT Advertising [not the real name stated in the e-mail]. My company represents a leading provider in roof repair and preventative maintenance. They would like to purchase ad space on your site's page: [totally unrelated URL deleted]
Ideally, we'd like to mention our client in a sentence on your site, which would link to our client's site. We could pay you via PayPal for your time and efforts as soon as an agreement is made.
Please let me know if you are interested so we can discuss the details. Thanks for your time and consideration.
Jill
[URL to fake company site deleted]
Advertising Representative

--------Our response------------

Jill,

Thank you for getting in touch, and for sending me your business' domain name. It gave me a chance to review your Wordpress-based "corporate web page" and see what a nice site anyone can build in about twenty minutes. I'm sure you will go back at some point and insert your contact and location information.

It also gave me a chance to search for your company name on Google and discover that folks are getting unexpected Paypal dings for small charges, with your company listed as the recipient. Example:

paypal *gumtree com hit tw91eh hit advertising services
paypal *gumtree com hit advertising services
gumtree com hit advertising services
paypal *onefree hit advertising services
paypal *browniefree hit advertising services
paypal *foxsoccer hit advertising services

Now, some folks who see your obviously hacked-together official-looking but uninformative web page and the string of folks who are getting dinged for no reason as evidence that your company doesn't really exist, except as a scammer who sends out notes like the one above to get people's Paypal information so they could deluge them with lots of small charges that would seem too small to bother questioning.

I prefer to think that gumtree, onefree, browniefree, foxsoccer, etc., have all been hacked and you have nothing to do with these charges. In fact, I have so much faith in your company that I plan to put you in touch with a potentially lucrative client. My friend, the Exiled Nigerian Prince, plans to start a web-based business as soon as he gets some transportation and logistic issues figured out.

At present, he is crossing Nicaragua north with a station wagon full of money he borrowed from his nation's treasury when he was deposed. That's not as risky as it sounds, because, due to an unfortunate holdup at a border crossing, the ENP (as his friends call him) discovered that the old station wagon he bought has about thirty hidden compartments that the previous owner used to smuggle drugs. So now the money is safely and invisibly stowed around him. As an added benefit, the exhaust system is so bad that the money is also being fumigated as we speak, killing thousands of tiny centipedes who have been chewing at the bills ever since the first time he buried them to hide them from treasure hunters. We hope that driving with the windows open keeps the ENP from being fumigated himself.

In the meantime, though, the ENP has found time to deposit some of the money into banks that allow wire transfers, and he'd like to transfer some money into your company's bank account as a down payment on advertising services you will provide in the future. Due to the aforesaid logistic difficulties, the most he can transfer at this time is aobut $100,000. However if he is pleased with your services, he may make subsequent deposits in the future.

All you need to get started is your real name, social security number, date of birth, bank account number and bank routing code. If you enter all of that information on the contact page below, the ENP will make the aforesaid deposit as soon as he reaches the next town with any kind of internet service.

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm

Please let me know if you have any questions. We look forward to a mutually beneficial relationship!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 3:36 pm 
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[Name Withheld] writes:

Is this the right place to e-mail for free Christmas money? Our family will not have Christmas unless you send me $1000, no questions asked. [Long list of hardships, chronic illnesses, job losses, relatives with gout, needed car repairs, needed home repairs, needed makeovers, sick pets, etc. deleted.]

If you don't take my word for it and write me a check right now, you are not a Christian.

-------Our Reply--------------

Dear [Name Withheld],

As the contact page you used to reach me explains, we have stopped replying to broad, undocumented individual requests for financial help, because the majority of these requests have turned out to be fraudulent. We found ourselves wasting our time and resources sorting them out when we're aware of people right in our community with worse problems than any we hear about online. So we made the decision to help individuals locally and also to support national agencies, such as the Salvation Army, Marines' Toys for Tots, and Angel Tree that have local branches in most cities and are close enough to determine who really needs help and who doesn't.

Since the e-mail you sent is more-or-less a "cut and paste" of the last e-mail asking for help, I suspect that you aren't really in need of help as much as you are looking for a quick influx of cash without having to, say, work for it. If that's the case you're in luck. I have a friend who habitually gives total strangers huge amounts of money for no reason.

Unfortunately, he is currently involved in a high speed chase across a treacherous mountain ridge in Nicaragua, because some idiot just leaked the information that he was driving north across the country in an old station wagon with hundred dollar bills stashed in every nook and cranny. But as soon as things calm down and he's back in touch, I'll have him get started sending you money. All we need from you is you bank account number and routing code. Just send it through the following contact page.

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm

Then sit back and wait for your life to change!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 7:48 am 
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Someone calling himself John Shinha writes:

Hi
Hope you are well,
I was surfing through your Website [url deleted] and realized that despite having a great design; it was not ranking on any of the search engines (Google Yahoo and Bing) for most of the keywords relating to your business.
I am affiliated with an SEO company based in India that has helped over 200 businesses rank on the 1st Page Ranking on GOOGLE for even the most competitive Industries.
If you are looking for a Best and Search Engine Optimization Company to help your website get a high ranking in Google we can definitely help you.
Please ask us for more information and Quote for latest SEO Services.
I look forward to your mail.
Regards
John Shinha
johnmarkatingexecutiv@gmail.com
Business Development Manager

-----Our Reply ------------------------------

John,
Thank you for getting in touch. I have to say I appreciate that your proposal varies slightly in wording from most of the proposals I get from self-proclaimed SEO Boosters. I especially respect the original way you spell "markating" in your e-mail address, and the fact that you are not shy about proclaiming your (apparently nonexistant) company the "Best and Search Engine Optimization Company." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it sounds impressive.

Since you seem overwhelmed with concern about the low search engine placement of the site in question, please let me put your mind at ease - the site you so diligently reviewed is a business-to-business site that works just fine without Google rankings. It's a resource I point inquirers to <i>after</i> establishing a business relationship. If I needed to get it on the first page for most relevant Google searches, I would do the same things for it that I have done for all of my sites that do show up on the first page for most relevant Google searches.

That said, you are the first SEO salesman in a very long time who e-mailed me about a site that WASN'T already on the first or second page of most search engines for most relevant searches. For that, I give you points. If I hired you to boost my SEO rankings on that site, I would actually be able to tell if you were making a difference, unlike all the other SEO offers I receive.

Because of your chutzpah, and the clever way you spell "markating," I will give you an opportunity far greater than the one you e-mailed me about.

You have probably heard about the Exiled Nigerian Prince who fled with most of his country's treasury when he was deposed and has been looking for ways to sneak "his" millions into American banks without our tax people noticing. What you probably don't know is that he has been attempting to set up a web page to help him recruit people in his quest. Sadly, all of the people who have offered to help him set up this page in the past have turned out to be frauds or at least slackers. You would be surprised at how disappointed a person can be when he's given several self-proclaimed web experts $100,000 or more each, and all they've done is take the money and run. What's the point of looting your country's treasury if you just keep running into thieves?

To be honest, he's had a few logistic issues to deal with that have kept him from giving his full attention to the project. Such as, the last time I heard from him he was involved in a high-speed chase north through the Nicaraguan mountains.

Sorry, I have a phone call, I have to take. More later.

I'm sorry, tragedy has struck. The ENP seems to have driven off a cliff. His station wagon seems to have rolled down a steep hill and burst into flames. At least that's what they believe happened - the jungle is so thick, it will take them days to get to the wreckage and investigate.

As you can imagine, I am too distraught to finish this conversation. Goodbye.


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Paul Race playing a banjo. Click to go to Paul's music home page.Whatever else you get out of our pages, I hope you enjoy your music and figure out how to make enjoyable music for those around you as well.

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