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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:51 am 
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An email with a fake "from" address full of disguised links to click on (which would take me who-knows-where) writes:

Now ANYONE Can Learn Singing
There is a singing course on the market head and shoulders above the rest... It’s called Singorama 2.0 .
Right now they are giving away free lessons to get you started...
Go Here for More...[disguised link omitted]
Get Quotes Fast
Inside, you'll learn:
Every little thing you need to know about proper breathing techniques that will skyrocket you to your full singing potential.
Empower yourself with the theories of vocal tone and pitch and how the influence the way you sing. And much, much more...
P.S. Sing like an angel with the confidence of a rock star!

-------Our Reply----------------------------------

Dear "Autumn:GuitarSingingLessons"@sing-by-soul.download;

First of all, my condolences for having the dumbest name I have ever encountered on the Internet, and that's saying something. No wonder you felt you had to learn how to sing like an angel/rock star to find your place in the world. I would even more impressed by your claims, however, if I had ever heard anything you did on the radio. Or if the URL you claim to link to your site wasn't obviously a redirect to God-knows-where.

That said, I do have a friend who was asking me the other day how to improve his public image.

For some reason, the world at large perceives my friend, the Exiled Nigerian Prince as a deposed former tyrant who absconded with most of his country's treasury when he was driven from power. But he has seen enough American Rap music videos to know that a certain portion of our society respects blatant thievery and addiction to violence. So maybe if you can help him get good enough to produce his own music videos, he might find a community that would welcome him into this country.

Unfortunately, he is currently hiding in the Honduran mountains from pursuers. But he has been able to purchase a local burner phone that allows him to access the Internet. So he can easily deposit the full amount of your fees directly into your bank account, plus, perhaps another $100,000 to make up for any inconvenience that results from doing business this way.

If that seems fair to you, please use the following link to send him your bank account number, account name and account routing code.

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm

The ENP, as we like to call him, will then send you a $25,000 down payment for your services. When you reply to let him know the money is in the bank, please let us know how much your entire course of studies costs, and he will add that to the $75,000 he will send you in the second transaction.

Our best wishes for the future of your enterprise!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:30 pm 
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Dear "Autumn:GuitarSingingLessons"@sing-by-soul.download;

I apologize, but the Exiled Nigerian Prince (the ENP for short) has decided that he will have to rescind his offer to buy your services teaching him to "sing like an angel with the confidence of a rock star." As it turns out, he spent the day hiding under the floorboards of an abandoned boathouse from a regional drug czar's gorillas (at first I thought he meant "guerrillas," but then I realized he really meant "gorillas," in a metaphorical sense). At any rate, while they tossed the boathouse looking for any sign that he had been there, they left one of their jeeps running with American Rap music playing - for hours.

After they left, and the ENP was able to contact me, he told me to cancel the singing lessons, because apparently the ability to sing has no bearing on whether a rap artist is successful in getting his message across, or getting his music on the radio for that matter.

That said, he feels bad about backing out, so he's still willing to send you the $25,000 first payment as a show of good faith. I certainly hope that helps take the "sting" out of losing this opportunity.

Again, if you'd like to have $25,000 deposited directly into your bank account, please visit the contact page below and enter your bank account number and routing code, and the Exiled Nigerian Prince himself will see to it that you get your just reward as soon as possible.

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2015 10:30 pm 
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Thanks to all the SEO folks who have offered to place the Exiled Nigerian Prince's web page on the first results page for Google searches. After only 32 days, IT'S THERE. Really. If you Google "Exiled Nigerian Prince" with or without quotes, the ENP CONTACT PAGE AND THIS THREAD ARE BOTH ON THE FIRST PAGE. Okay, they're near the bottom, but who's counting?

Those of you who have been SO helpful will be pleased to know that he has given his pursuers the slip one more time and is now on his way to the northern coast of Honduras. He has repainted his old station wagon a nice dark gray color to help it blend in better. He has also picked up a local family who needed a ride. They have a 20-something daughter named Maria whom he likes very much. Unfortunately, his Spanish is very poor, plus she grew up speaking a local dialect, so her Spanish is almost as bad, and she doesn't speak English at all. So when he recently told her he thought her hair was pretty, the father threatened to punch him out, because the family thought he was saying her orangutan was in heat. It made for some tense moments, but they seem to have got it ironed out. Also, the father was nervous when he first saw the ENP paying for an expensive hotel with cash, but the ENP told him he had done a favor for a drug dealer, so he calmed down.

Thanks again to all the well-wishers and supporters. If the ENP's enemies don't pick up his trail soon, he should be back on a boat headed north by the end of the week.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 03, 2015 8:23 pm 
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This is your friend and frequent benefactor, the Exiled Nigerian Prince. I have reached a quiet village with Internet access so I am taking the time to thank you all in person. Maria and her family, who have been traveling with me also send you greetings. With any luck, we will all be on a boat bound for the Texas coast by tomorrow afternoon.

If you're one of the people with whom I deposited several million dollars for safekeeping until I could get to America, I know you'll be relieved that I hope to be showing up soon to take it off your hands, except for our agree-upon fee, of course. If you're one of those who declined our kind offer, please understand that there are no hard feelings.

Feeling happy for the first time since I was forced to sneak out of the harbor on a rowboat full of money while they were storming the palace, I remain, yours, the

Exiled Nigerian Prince


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 11:48 am 
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Someone calling himself Wynell Mcdow writes:

Good day!
I noticed your website today Thu, 5 Nov 2015 and found it very interesting. I was hoping there was any possibility of internship or unpaid trial period, just to prove my competence.
As you will see in my attached resume, I am very qualified and have a very sweeping experience in this line of work. I am very confident it will be worth your time reading it, and I am even more confident you will find me very adequate in your business.

Please see my attached CV. [removed for safety]
I am very much looking forward to hearing from you.
Thank you for your recommendation,

Wynell Mcdow
wynelleqdrs@rambler.ru

----------Our Reply----------------
Wynell,

I'm very please to hear from you, since it so happens that my friend the Exiled Nigerian Prince is in need of a day laborer to help him scrape the barnacles off a boat he hopes to take from the coast of Honduras to the coast of Texas. Although the small village he is staying in at the moment has several unemployed workers, none of them have worked out, since the boat is still in the water, and the ENP (as we call him) hasn't been able to track down any breathing apparatus for them to use. They insist they can only hold their breath so long. Plus there's a jellyfish tide, or whatever it's called on the way.

I couldn't help noticing that you contacted me from Russia. So there will probably be some transportation issues involved. Tell you what, if you log onto our contact page below and enter your bank account information, the ENP will direct-deposit $20,000US into your account to pay your way to Honduras, as well as you first years' salary. Alternatively, he could deposit 20,000 rubles, which, at the current rate of exchange, might pay for your bus ride to the airport.

http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm

You're probably wondering why I didn't open the binary file you sent me to see if your job skills aligned with the task in question. Unfortunately, when I tried to download it, my virus checker set off so many alarms that the solar panels on the roof of my office building glowed purple for five minutes. That said, I'm sure you're up to the task at hand.

Safe journey!


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 3:48 pm 
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Someone calling himself my e-mail administrator writes:

Your E-mail account [account name removed] needs to be re-validated with this link http://evcentre.tripod.com/ to aviod deactivation.

Thank you!
Mail Administrator.

----------Our reply---------------------------

Thank you for the warning. It was very thoughtful of you to go out of your way to help me aviod my e-mail deactivation.

I have to confess, though, that I have no idea what "aviod" means.

Also, if my e-mail is in trouble, why did I have no problem getting YOUR e-mail?

And why would I log into a Tripod site to fix my email and not my hosting account?

I have to confess that over the last few years, my experiences with Tripod sites have been less than uplifting. In fact, I have found visiting Tripod sites to be the internet equivalent of licking toilet seats in public restrooms. I don't know what the site has gotten so bad, but I would rather throw my laptop off a bridge than risk visiting it again. I hope you don't mind my excess of caution.

You, however, do seem like a risk-taker, and a person who doesn't mind cutting certain ethical corners. My friend the Exiled Nigerian Prince could use a person like you on his team. You see, he has several carpetbags of hundred dollar bills that he intends to start smuggling by boat from Honduras to the Texas coast in the next few days. Your excellent command of the English language, including your knowledge of arcane words like "aviod" tells me that you either are an American citizen or would have no trouble passing as an American citizen.

What would you think about coming down to Texas and chartering a fishing boat so he can make the transfer at sea and avoid inspection by the Coast Guard? Yes, I realize that this would be an expensive endeavor, but he is willing to pay royally - literally, get it? If you would enter your banking information on the ENP's contact page, he will deposit $100,000 into your bank account to give you enough to get started. Once he is safely on shore in the United States, he will give you another $400,000 in cash to make it an even half-million.

The contact page is here: http://creekdontrise.com/enp.htm

I just got a call from the ENP. He says he is looking forward to working with you for your mutual benefit.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2015 9:33 am 
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Sad news. Someone has begun circulating wanted posters showing an admittedly blurry photo of the Exiled Nigerian Prince, and claiming they will pay a huge reward.

I have obtained a copy of the English version. It is also being circulated in Spanish and several local dialects.

I am just glad that the photo is so bad. But it does not bode well for my friend's attempt to cross the gulf unnoticed.

Attachment:
enp_wanted_poster.jpg
enp_wanted_poster.jpg [ 49.63 KiB | Viewed 16219 times ]


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2015 9:42 am 
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ENP here. Paul has just informed me of this travesty. Why would anyone think I was worth more dead than alive? Are they claiming that I'm so big a nuisance that the world is better off without me? I am insulted!

Also, I am insulted that whoever has printed this poster is treating me like a common thief. There is nothing common about me.

Finally, I am confused in that there is no contact listed for claiming the reward. This is yet another blow, because I have no idea who I need to pay off to have the reward withdrawn! It is getting so you can't trust anyone!

To my loyal supporters, I have only one word - keep the faith! I've survived worse setbacks than this! And my boat is almost ready to launch. Clear skies ahead! - ENP


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 8:35 am 
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Someone calling himself Stephanie wrote:

Paul,
With the holidays coming up, our clients are moving quickly to get the Capital they need NOW to cashflow or take advantage of the Holidays.
Since you're in the same type of industry, we may be able to help you too.
Do you need extra Capital or Cashflow now or within the next 3 months?
Have you been in business at least a year and 180K yr in Rev?
We can actually deposit up to 500k in your account in as little as 3 days... with no collateral or personal guarantee.
We'll also show how we help our clients save an avg of 21K yr in taxes plus other strategies that drastically increase Cashflow.
If you call me back today, we'll let you know how much we could put in your acct in just a few days.
It's important you call 888-985-0734 before 6pm as we are limited to the number of applications we can process.
If I don't hear from you I'll try to follow-up with a reminder.
Stephanie
stephanie@bluecapitalassociates.com
888-985-0734
Funding Business Partners
---------------------------------
Dear Stephanie,

Thank you for contacting us with the offer to have a ridiculous amount of money automatically deposited in my bank account. Unfortunately I have an old friend who is always promising to do the same - the Exiled Nigerian Prince. If I decided I wanted to send my bank account information to a total stranger and trust him to put money in instead of taking money out, you are way down the list.
As another tip, pretending to know what business I'm in without ever referring to any particular industry is a little weak. You could at least do your research before you contact me. If you had found out that I am a folk singer, you probably would have known not to ask me if I was making at least $180K a year.
If you want more tips, I can put you in touch with the ENP, who is way ahead of you on this kind of offer.
Best of luck,
Paul


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 8:48 pm 
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"Stephanie" wrote back:

Paul,
I never heard back from you from the email I recently sent.
I wanted to let you know I still have an opening today to get your business qualified for funding.
Over 70% of applicants qualify for this special program, but I need to get your application in.
If you can, please give me a call before 6:00 pm CT today 888-985-0734. Let me know either way so I can take you off my contact list if I need to.
Stephanie
888-985-0734
stephanie@bluecapitalassociates.com

----------------------------------

My reply to you must have got hung up in your spam filter or something. I technically have one of those but it doesn't seem to work very well, since I keep getting e-mails from people like you.

At any rate, my offer to put you in touch with the Exiled Nigerian Prince is off the table. I have lost contact with him again. Apparently someone has circulated a wanted poster with a very large reward, and he is running for his life again.

This is disappointing, since he seemed to have such a promising future just ahead.

This just in, a friend in the region tells me that the wanted poster is a hoax. Apparently the drug boss whose car full of cocaine the ENP accidentally knocked off a cliff during a high-speed chase is tired of waiting for his henchmen to catch up with the Prince, so he circulated these just to get folks in the region looking for him. But my source tells me that the drug boss has no intention of paying any reward, no matter what the outcome. He just wants to increase the pressure on the prince.

This sort of thing sickens me. Who would be so callous as to publish such a hoax, anyway? From now on, nothing that he has done for people will be remembered; when people hear the words "Exiled Nigerian Prince," the first thing they will think is "hoax." Too bad, really.


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Paul Race playing a banjo. Click to go to Paul's music home page.Whatever else you get out of our pages, I hope you enjoy your music and figure out how to make enjoyable music for those around you as well.

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