Someone calling himself Theo Theo writes:
A quick analysis reveals your website having different technical glitches, where organic/natural traffic is very low.
[content that is supposedly based on an in-depth study of my web page but which is actually copied word-for-word from a dozen other spammers and scammers deleted]
[I've left this list in because it shows such a unique approach to parallelism and comma placement:]
- Low online presence for competitive keywords or, phrases.
- Don't forget to make sure that, your website is compatible with different types of mobile devices.
- Technical errors that restrict your website from being indexed by search engines.
- Lack of theme based quality back links.
- A meager social presence is a reason to ponder too.
[More carbon-copy hype deleted]
Interested? Revert back now. We will send you a clear analysis report (FREE) using our corporate e-mail ID.
Best Regards,
Theo Theo |DM Consultant
bmpeweb@gmail.comPH. No: +1 (530)-936-5916
Skype: web.solutiondm
1: If you are interested we will send more details on our “company profile”, “Price list”, “money back” etc. in our next mail.
P.S: - Once you reply us back, the next communication will be done from our corporate ID. Or you may ask us to “UNSUBSCRIBE”.
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Dear Theo Theo,
I love your "hutzpa" in sending me an error-ridden, mostly plagiarized e-mail warning me that there may be mistakes in my web page.
However, I'm not entirely certain how to "revert." Are you saying I should go back to a younger, perhaps more childish version of myself? Or perhaps I should try to de-evolve into a Neanderthal or something?
I'm also wary of anyone promising to fix my web pages, because I know of too many cases of scammers using this sort of plea to access a viable web page, then loading it up with viruses that criminals have paid them to proliferate. I had all my web pages hacked once, through a breakdown at my hosting company, and I have no desire to repeat that experience.
That said, I have a friend whose web page is anything BUT viable. In fact, it's nonexistent. If you'd like to help the Exiled Nigerian Prince get his page up and running, he might be receptive. After all, he has nothing to lose on that score.
He has a lot to lose otherwise, like the several million dollars in unmarked bills that he has crammed into every nook and cranny of the old minivan he is driving north across Belize as we speak. According to our recent conversations, he is finding it hard to get an internet connection in the towns he is driving through. However, I'm sure he'd be open to doing business with you. In cases like this, he usually authorizes an initial $50,000 down-payment on future services, paid by direct deposit to the vendor's account. After you prove you can do the work, he's usually glad to double that, and even more if you work fast and well. So if you're interested in getting a piece of this business, simply go to the Exiled Nigerian Prince's contact page (
http://www.creekdontrise.com/enp.htm ) and follow the instructions for entering your bank account information.
Then the next time he is in contact, he will gladly deposit the money.
Here's hoping you get the financial results you so richly deserve!